Cathy

I can't remember the year that my brother Darrin married my late sister in law, Cathy...but I certainly remember the date that she went to be with the Lord.  I will never forget the day... October 3, 2003.  (Coincidentally, that's the birthdate of my late grandmother that I never met).  Cathy and Darrin were married for over ten years.  Over this time span she and I grew pretty close.  She was always very kind to me and seemed to have my back when my brother would pick on me, or simply say the wrong thing at the wrong time.  I can't say that I've ever met anyone like her.  She seemed so strong, and I know that was because of the difficult life that she had in the beginning.  A young mother of three and two of the three being twins.  I can't remember a time that she didn't have a smile or something sweet to share.

Cathy worked as an Obstetrician and she enjoyed what she did, except for the long hours she would have to pull if one of her employees were out.  One day when she was at work, she doubled over in pain, which she had to go to the emergency room for.  After a series of tests, the doctors found masses in her stomach.  She went through several more tests and the doctors diagnosed her with cancer.  That was one of the most difficult things to hear.  The "C" word... to us, this wasn't real at first, but it quickly became our reality.  The doctors had a problem determining what type of cancer that she had.  I remember at first the doctors said it was Lymphoma.  I hurried home and began searching the facts online about Lymphoma.  After I thought that I knew most everything that I could about what she had and may experience, the doctors changed their diagnosis not once, but twice.  At this very moment, I can't remember which type of cancer that it was.  It started with the letter M and it wasn't Melanoma.

Soon Cathy's smiles turned because of the pains she endured.  She had to undergo cancer treatments with Chemo and Radiation.  My mother was by her side when my brother couldn't be.  At times, I'd go sit with her while mom and Darrin were busy.  Needless to say, Cathy had to take strong pain medications that would make her sleep for hours.  During the few hours that she was awake, she would have a little food and drink, then she would write in her journal, the journal that I wouldn't have a chance to read until she passed away.  This went on for around nine months.  Everytime I visited, I could tell that her life was slowly coming to an end, this broke my heart but there was nothing that I could do.  She would always say not to worry about age and enjoy every year that we get because you never know when it's your time to go.  She was able to celebrate her fourty eighth birthday in February.  At her party she said that would be her last birthday and she said it with a smile.  We were torn...but she was ready to be free from the pain.

The day came when the family had to have Hospice come to her home and care for her.  We did all that we could (mainly Darrin and mom) to make her feel comfortable and made sure that she knew we loved her.  She became very quiet and stopped writing in her journal.  She wasn't able to do this any longer due to the pain and having to sleep.  On October 3rd, at 4:30 pm when my aunt knocked on my door.  I ran to the door and heard the news that would change me in a way that is hard to describe.  I felt a part of me died with her.  I believe this changed me...  I've learned not to take any of my days for granted and spend as much time as I can with family and friends.  Never pass the opportunity up to tell someone that you love them.  I also believe what Cathy repeated several times before her passing.  Age is just a number...but you should make every age count.  She'll forever be with me.  I could go on but this class is about to end.  I'm actually the last one in class and about to have to go to the next.